Today we are joined by Jennifer Finalyson-Fife, one of our favorite teachers! Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a relationship & sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. She teaches online personal and sexual development courses. Today Jennifer answers our questions about modesty!
1:01 – Jennifer talks about the definition of modesty. We seem to have placed an emphasis on clothing rather than humility. She says that modesty is a way of managing the private and public aspects of our lives.
2:30 – Modesty is often incorrectly taken as women needing to be the gatekeepers of male sexuality.
3:30 – Because we have a firm position or standard on intimacy and sexuality in marriage, we tend to extrapolate things about sexual feelings and assume that such feelings need to be hidden and protected by women.
6:30 – Jennifer talks about when young men might experience sexual feelings and how they can manage such feelings.
7:28 – Jennifer then talks to females. She talks about the power in being desirable and avoiding the urge to take advantage of this power. She talks about focusing relationships on the relationships themselves.
9:22 – How you dress matters in different cultures. Jennifer shares an example of traveling to Turkey and noticing how her clothes were received by the people of Turkey. She talks about the importance of self respect and being aware of those around you, though it never makes you responsible for the actions of others.
12:46 – When we are younger in our development, we need a starting point for standards, even if we end up in a more nuanced understanding. Jennifer argues that adolescents still need rules and principles. She asks, “What is the larger goal?”
15:00 – Jennifer says that the opposite of love is fear. Our dress should reflect love and respect for ourselves and others.
16:00 – We can lean on the muscle of love and self respect and kindness. She talks about how we can teach these principles well.
17:00 – A deep respect and enjoyment of your body can co-exist with not flaunting your body.
17:55 – Choosing to dress with respect isn’t necessarily being ashamed of ones body.
18:50 – Jennifer shares how parenting about modesty can be most effective. She gives an example about how her daughter responded to some teachings at church. She also shares a story of her son learning some ideas of shame.
23:00 – Jennifer talks about the importance of developing your own expressions of modesty.
23:40 – Jennifer shares with Sabrina her best piece of advice for raising a child.
Thanks for joining us, Jennifer!!
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